Rainy Day Planning

YEP, that is exactly what we are doing on this quiet, rainy day; preparing plans for our 'funeral', gathering vital paperwork that we have no idea where we put it last, and making that list of things to do for the people left behind. That is what all this planning is about anyway...for the people we love that will be left behind. We can no longer be selfish and sad as that serves no positive purpose for getting anything together and for the work that needs to be done upon our death. We both want things to go smoothe for our family and friends that is why we have made a list of things to be updated asap, money to stash to pay those nasty bills and creating another list of how I wish my peronal items to be dispursed between our children. It will be hard enough to go through the items, the pictures, the old letters but if created as a fun event, which it should be, then things will not be as sad. I need to do this and now. My health is declining and I need for my girls to know 'what comes next'. I do not want any surprises. I do not want a traditional funeral but a celebration of those things and people I love and cherish. Cremation is my choice of exiting from the living with my ashes scattered among various family in the south and the remaining in the forrest of the Cumberland Mts. Make sure my hubby is part of my planning; he has been a jewel of a human being for over 40 years...God I Love That Man of Mine! So there, not too difficult to make some plans; how 'bout it!? Join us on a rainy day and we'll help with those end of life plans we all need for our family. They will appreciate our actions more than we realize.

My Brother

Today is my Brother's birthday; I called him early as I know he cares for the animals earlier in the morning. Before our Dad passed away he asked if there was any way my Brother and I could regain a caring relationship free of other toxic people and memories. Afterall he said, living is about those left behind and all you two really have is one another; make it happen for me. The timing was so right and my Brother and I agreed to remain in the present and not talk about the sad and dysfunctional happenings of the past. My Brother and I are in the midst of learning about one another again as we are in the 'present'. It is beautiful and I have found my Brother to be a funny man! We both have many things in our lives that may need change or to make different. But we need to learn that we are only responsible for ourselves and we both need to learn to enjoy, laugh, sing, forget about the negatives as they serve no purpose and for heavens sake remain in the present; it is afterall all we have! I firmly believe there is no past, there is no future, there is only the present...make it good! I do have such good memories of my Brother and those I will hang onto. I feel as though our Dad knew this would happen and he set the stage for a new beginning for us. With Dad's death he gave my Brother and I a real birthday gift. I hope we Both remember it is a fragile but loving birthday gift for both of us! Happy Birthday Brother! Thank You Dad!

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not there to see, if the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me, I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too. But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand and said my place was ready in Heaven far above and that I'd have to leave behind all those things I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away a tear fell from my eye, for all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for, so much yet to do, it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday just even for awhile, I'd say goodbye and kiss you, and maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized that could never be, for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And then I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow, but when I walked through Heaven's gates I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, from his great golden throne, He said "This is eternity and all I've promised you. Today your life on Earth is past and here it starts anew". "I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past". "But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free, so won't you take my hand now and share My life with Me". So when tomorrow starts without me don't think we're far apart for every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.
~ Erica Shea Liupaeter

Tribute To The Troops

tributetothetroops.org - Sep 11, 12, 13, 2009 was the Ride via motorcycle and support vehicles to the homes of 5 families who lost a loved one in Iraq or Afghanistan. Try going to these homes without sobbing. If it were not for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes, and yes their families too, I would not be able to write this blog.
This was the 6th year Tribute To The Troops took to the road visiting the homes of the families of our fallen soldiers with wives and children, grandmothers and grandfathers, aunts, uncles, mom's and dad's present at the homes. Dear heavens the loss hits you directly in the face and you feel as though your heart is going to break!
A Concert is always held on the last day of the Ride at the Medina Ent Center featuring local kick butt artists and phenominal national recording artist Rockie Lynne, one of the founders of Tribute To The Troops along with Gregg Schmitt. Giving everything they got to the families who attend the concert, it is an extraordinary event. The families are simply precious and filled with such gratitude for the Ride, the Riders, the Concert, with many gracious thank you's. Tribute To The Troops created an educational fund for the children of our fallen heroes. The Riders are extraordinary people giving to the families and children of our fallen soldiers. We are indeed a nation of good people.

Website launched!

Graceful Goodbyes is finally active and with sheer gratitude the 'congrat' emails are coming in. I am overwhelmed at the courtesy, the love, and the wonderful words from folks wishing us well! We can help many people through some rough times by just listening to their expressions and questions of what to do next when you lose a loved one or have someone in your family or your life dealing with a terminal illness. Pretty rough stuff with no real good answer except to listen, really listen. Losing someone to death or in the process of dying does NOT make it any easier to handle; try to understand the person trying to live with a terminal illness...who do they really talk to? Not too many people to share your fears of dying with or how about those left behind...who do they share their pain of losing someone they dearly loved with? I am discovering the clergy are indeed privy to the other side of death and dying and it takes a mighty strong person to handle that realm. Sharing grief, loss, unexpected loss, upcoming loss, the pain of grief can be fierce and without mercy sometimes. Thank goodness the gift of words and listening have no boundaries.

Graceful Goodbyes

YES, YES, YES, this is an awesome website created for people with a terminal illness or those who have lost a loved one who need help with gathering vital paperwork into one central location,help with planning those 'hard to discuss' topics such as a funeral, a review,what to do when a loved ones dies; what will my family do when I die, what happens to my 'stuff', what happens to my home, my car, my collection of artwork or comic books? Great questions that demand great answers!

Graceful Goodbyes can handle all of those itty bitty concerns, even handle the demanding people at vital records in different states when several death certificates are needed; and you will need several of those certified little documents. Research, research, research and confirmation of those needed answers to questions is what Graceful Goodbyes can and will do for you. Their website is due to launch soon...gracefulgoodbyes.com.

You find the most intriguing topics on blogs!

Time Heals What?

WHO said time heals all wounds? I often wonder if those people ever lost someone they loved? My beloved Aunt died in 2002 right before Christmas of that year. She wanted to live so badly but her failing kidney would not allow such a request. My Dad, an Army retired E6 soldier, died Nov 21 of 2008. His passing has left such a deep void within me that I find it difficult to talk about his death without crying. My step-mother appears lost in some sort of time warp of sadness. She is not very healthy herself but I genuinely respect her ability to continue with living throughout all the dark and sad times. She is a strong woman and I enjoy her company.
I have come to believe through the death of my Dad that time is no one's friend and time does not heal anything, it just prolongs the feelings of losing someone you loved until such time that something you do, something you say, or something someone else says creates a feeling of such deep loss. I hope I can find 'friends' that will talk with me about their experiences with the loss of a loved one and the relationship with time.
I am trying to understand HOW time seems to have become such an intimate healing process...I would like to believe it is a healer. Come on, try out my expressions, my beliefs as they are currently set...I believe I can change to a more positive belief that TIME can heal all things, I just want more substance. Show me the difference like an origami bird.
I do look forward to talking about this thing we call 'time'. Until then I will continue to believe time is not a healer.